The Inescapable Peril of
Co-Parenting (The series)
Each day I
live on God’s green earth I understand Him a little better. I understand why it
was intended for children to born into a home of marriage, not wedlock. I like
to call wedlock a nice term for CONFUSION. Confusion is what one can expect
when we do not play the game of life as it is intended to be played. Of course
I know life isn't a game, however when dealing with children born of broken
homes it seems as if parenting turns into a competition. Parenting can turn
into a match about who did the most and vice versa. This occurs when one or
both of the parties are bitter about the past, coupled with the “outsider’s” influence/opinions;
a recipe for disaster.
In co-parenting
a lot of confusion today is caused by the “outside”. The outside meaning others
you DID NOT lay with to make that
child that EVERYONE has something to
say about. In my own life I have seen how the “outside” has poisoned my own
relationship with my child. In my instance it’s an overbearing grandparent that
has helped hinder a relationship instead of encouraging it. One should want
better for their children and grandchildren.
Contrary to
the belief of many ALL children deserve a father. All children that are the
product of a broken home deserve to have their father, especially an active and
willing father. However when the “outsiders” show up they bring up the past,
they sow discord, they make it hard for the mother and father to establish a
healthy bond for the sake of the child. Now I’m not speaking about the fathers
that can’t be a part of their children’s lives due to legal situations or something
beyond their current control. I am speaking of the father that wants to be a
part but has a hard time due to the “OUTSIDE”. The “outside” are the ones
saying, “Giirrrlll I would out him on child support he just bought a new car”.
Or the men, “Man I would just leave her alone and move on to the next chick”.
These are the people we all should listen to the least. A real friend, real
family would be trying to encourage togetherness, peace and love for the sake
of the child they claim to love so much.
We will talk
more about this in the coming weeks. Today the message to us all is to limit
the outside influence when it comes to co-parenting, raising our children. We
need to seek God first, NOT each other. Last but certainly not least once you've sought God and found His peace in your situation DO as HE instructed us to do
LOVE ONE ANOTHER. Yes, even that individual that wronged you. Yes, we must love
that mother, that father even the grandmother that wronged us when it came down
to our very own child.
Until next
time…..
